No One Else Like You

Yes babe. You're so fine.

I pondered.

So I've quit my job. And I've found a new one. Cept that I've yet signed those papers.

Never thought I will land myself into the finance industry AGAIN. So much for proclaiming that I wouldnt want to step into this industry since my first job.

That said, I've really got lots of time for reflection after quitting my job. 

Some stuff I pondered about:

1. Furthering my education (its highly dependable on the industry that I chose to stay put for the next 5 years../ taking a diploma in music)

2. Relationships (Friends/ Family/ Other half)

The above is a tricky one. For it drove me to think about the friends that I want to retain. This means taking the effort to mend the cracks in broken friendships (in my context) or simply truly value friendship as it is. Well, I have to take the initiative instead of being passive isnt it. People do get sick and tired if one is to reject invites all the time/ most of the time. Yes, I am guilty of that.

Same goes for family and my other half. It really takes one a lot of effort with the maintenance.

3. Career

Well, I really hope I can stay for at least 2 years in the role that I applied for. Thereafter, see where it gonna bring me.

4. Giving back to society aka God's ministry

I have to really start to spend real good time with God. That is where my first love, my provider and my father will help guide me to be a better person before I can truly give back to the society to glorify His kingdom.

Alright. Thats all for now (:

Inactivity.

So it's been another year of inactivity (:

This time around. I'm finally back.

Radioactive - Lindsey Stirling and Pentatonix (Imagine Dragons Cover)

Im back (:

i dont deny when it comes to laundry. im only concerned about mine.

one simple reason, i was only asked to be accountable for my own laundry. 

(i've gt plenty of laundry to do)

its not being selfish. im just being told what i was asked to do so. 

my brothers should be responsible for theirs too. 

being the eldest in the family, needless to say, i was asked to be responsible for keeping the house tidy and clean.

I love doing laundry, washing and ironing. thts abt it.

Proly vacuuming. yeah. n cooking. 

sweeping, mopping, cleaning the windows, washing the toilets are not some of my favourites.

lemme tell u abt why i dont like the above tasks.

when i do the above. seriously.. 

i was told tht i did a bad job for yes.. evry single task when i really took effort to do them. 

evry single time.

yes. i needed the recognition for a job well done. or proly for even doin the task.

but no. never. more like getting reprimanded all the time or was told tht it seemed as if i did nothing when i did. 

so i stopped doing it. 

im ranting here cuz i need an avenue for my anger. 

i wanted to reason things out with her but i chose to kp mum. 

its ok that she mentioned that i dont have a conscience. no. its not ok.

im still angry.

CONSCIENCE. for goodness sake. jus cuz i dint fold the clothes.. i dont ve a conscience. 

fine. so be it.  

in short. she's never ever happy with me. never.

*

When I was six, i wanted to be an actress. Yes indeed. I did. 

Always holding the toy microphone in my hand and twirling my long & silky black hair. Yes. I did.

When I was twelve, i wanted to be a lawyer for it seems like Im always able to argue my way out. 

Yes indeed. I was good at it.

When I was fourteen, i wanted to be the band major of the band. Secretly wanting that post. 

Eventually I gt it. For Im a people person. I managed to win the hearts of my peers by being me. 

When I was sixteen, it was then that my life kinda came to a halt. I fell in love..yes in love.., and out of it within a short span of 6mths. Thereafter at seventeen, I fell in love with my bestfriend and out of it. 

I blame it on the fact that we were all young, ignorant and naive. 

Still, at seventeen, i told myself i wanted to be a successful career woman.

When I was eighteen, I fell in love with my 12yr old childhood crush. The one whom I thought I would spend my life with. Yes i was eighteen.

*

Why on earth am i typing all these? Seriously.. 

For I've kinda lost my sense of direction in life. Yes right now. At 24. 

*

I've made myself an idol. a relationship idol. 

I've allowed myself to fall into it. 

I've allowed myself to get hurt from it.

I've allowed myself. my dreams. my ambitions to revolve around this idol. 

It took me 5yrs to get out of it. How did i get outta it? 

You tell me abt it. To be honest, I've no idea.

Its proly going nowhere.

It was wrong to begin with in the very first place. 

*

So where should i go from here? 

Back into my Father's arms. 

Do we have time in the very first place?

It seems like its going downhill. going nowhere.

Evry single word tht was mentioned.
Evry li conversation tht we had.

Meant it? Or were they just sweet nothings?



*the same all over again.