JoyC

When I was six, i wanted to be an actress. Yes indeed. I did. 

Always holding the toy microphone in my hand and twirling my long & silky black hair. Yes. I did.

When I was twelve, i wanted to be a lawyer for it seems like Im always able to argue my way out. 

Yes indeed. I was good at it.

When I was fourteen, i wanted to be the band major of the band. Secretly wanting that post. 

Eventually I gt it. For Im a people person. I managed to win the hearts of my peers by being me. 

When I was sixteen, it was then that my life kinda came to a halt. I fell in love..yes in love.., and out of it within a short span of 6mths. Thereafter at seventeen, I fell in love with my bestfriend and out of it. 

I blame it on the fact that we were all young, ignorant and naive. 

Still, at seventeen, i told myself i wanted to be a successful career woman.

When I was eighteen, I fell in love with my 12yr old childhood crush. The one whom I thought I would spend my life with. Yes i was eighteen.

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Why on earth am i typing all these? Seriously.. 

For I've kinda lost my sense of direction in life. Yes right now. At 24. 

*

I've made myself an idol. a relationship idol. 

I've allowed myself to fall into it. 

I've allowed myself to get hurt from it.

I've allowed myself. my dreams. my ambitions to revolve around this idol. 

It took me 5yrs to get out of it. How did i get outta it? 

You tell me abt it. To be honest, I've no idea.

Its proly going nowhere.

It was wrong to begin with in the very first place. 

*

So where should i go from here? 

Back into my Father's arms.