i dont deny when it comes to laundry. im only concerned about mine.

one simple reason, i was only asked to be accountable for my own laundry. 

(i've gt plenty of laundry to do)

its not being selfish. im just being told what i was asked to do so. 

my brothers should be responsible for theirs too. 

being the eldest in the family, needless to say, i was asked to be responsible for keeping the house tidy and clean.

I love doing laundry, washing and ironing. thts abt it.

Proly vacuuming. yeah. n cooking. 

sweeping, mopping, cleaning the windows, washing the toilets are not some of my favourites.

lemme tell u abt why i dont like the above tasks.

when i do the above. seriously.. 

i was told tht i did a bad job for yes.. evry single task when i really took effort to do them. 

evry single time.

yes. i needed the recognition for a job well done. or proly for even doin the task.

but no. never. more like getting reprimanded all the time or was told tht it seemed as if i did nothing when i did. 

so i stopped doing it. 

im ranting here cuz i need an avenue for my anger. 

i wanted to reason things out with her but i chose to kp mum. 

its ok that she mentioned that i dont have a conscience. no. its not ok.

im still angry.

CONSCIENCE. for goodness sake. jus cuz i dint fold the clothes.. i dont ve a conscience. 

fine. so be it.  

in short. she's never ever happy with me. never.

*

When I was six, i wanted to be an actress. Yes indeed. I did. 

Always holding the toy microphone in my hand and twirling my long & silky black hair. Yes. I did.

When I was twelve, i wanted to be a lawyer for it seems like Im always able to argue my way out. 

Yes indeed. I was good at it.

When I was fourteen, i wanted to be the band major of the band. Secretly wanting that post. 

Eventually I gt it. For Im a people person. I managed to win the hearts of my peers by being me. 

When I was sixteen, it was then that my life kinda came to a halt. I fell in love..yes in love.., and out of it within a short span of 6mths. Thereafter at seventeen, I fell in love with my bestfriend and out of it. 

I blame it on the fact that we were all young, ignorant and naive. 

Still, at seventeen, i told myself i wanted to be a successful career woman.

When I was eighteen, I fell in love with my 12yr old childhood crush. The one whom I thought I would spend my life with. Yes i was eighteen.

*

Why on earth am i typing all these? Seriously.. 

For I've kinda lost my sense of direction in life. Yes right now. At 24. 

*

I've made myself an idol. a relationship idol. 

I've allowed myself to fall into it. 

I've allowed myself to get hurt from it.

I've allowed myself. my dreams. my ambitions to revolve around this idol. 

It took me 5yrs to get out of it. How did i get outta it? 

You tell me abt it. To be honest, I've no idea.

Its proly going nowhere.

It was wrong to begin with in the very first place. 

*

So where should i go from here? 

Back into my Father's arms. 

Do we have time in the very first place?

It seems like its going downhill. going nowhere.

Evry single word tht was mentioned.
Evry li conversation tht we had.

Meant it? Or were they just sweet nothings?



*the same all over again.

Just a li bit more faith.

*all in His time <3

A Touching Story For Married People ~ UnknowN Author

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love. One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times.

My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?” Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes….

My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. “When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails,and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face…

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ” My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading…

“Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk…

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread…. Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…

Heavenly Pappykin.

Ur daughter is mentally & physically burnt...

I tried.

But, Im really tired. 

*

This should not be happening.

Not now. Not Right now.

I voiced out & I questioned. All I want are some answers.

Just some... just some.


*

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call.


*Because my Heavenly Father captured me with grace.

Status Quo. 

*

Please do not overthink. Ur mental if you do that. 

Pure Stupidity. 

Aights. Gotta Mug in 5. 

productivity lvl on friday was da bomb. i was pretty surprised then. especially with everyone at the townhall for meeting and leaving me all alone in the office without any interruption/disturbance to finish my work. very nice indeed.

but. monday's gonna be another busy day for miss foo. esp when angeline's not gonna be around for the entire week, i reckon so. who to check naos for me? wait. silly me. i've gt access to it. right.

canon s95 fdw. like finally. gotta thank sarah's dad for making the purchase on my behalf
my faithful 5yr old ixus drowned itself in a puddle of water
yes. im able to then take pretty pictos with loves on 29th March
definitely glad to own one but not when its at the expense of my pockets
no more expensive meals/drinks/shopping/pampering treats
seriously...

i don't feel like giving tuition tomorrow cuz im addicted to my notes
my CF & MA notes. mega madness
proly cuz im eager to complete my revision by mid april and at the same time making sure that i'll clear both modules dis yr.



*

do not attempt to read me. i will open up to you in d days to come. 
maybe today, tomorrow or never.

not ready to dive into a another bottomless pit

the expectancy and waiting is some excruciating pain and agony

being hopeful is being oh so irrational and uber silly

we were young and naive at 18; lovin the uncertainties of tomorrow

making decisions that brought us much pain but also taught us so much to see that there are better days ahead

gimme time. lots of time. to make up for the loss of me. 

for sure

someday

* paint my days.

23 going on 24.


the risk taker ought to stop banging walls and start to live proper.
proly not. for thats not her style. definitely not her.


in fact, she's mentally exhausted from the li happenings around her. which in turn had made her pretty grumpy recently. to even behaving like a kid; though she behaves like one most of the time.


making decisions is not her thing. for she never made the correct ones. or mayb she did; just that she doesnt really know which are the ones that led her to walk the right path.


upon embracing her flaws in the many nights of tears, she gt up one day to truly fall in love with herself and who she is and will be in the days to come.


expect changes in her. adapt to her changes. love her for who she might become or proly she wont change much just proly alot stronger in the days to come. she will. definitely.





* my secret wish. be the other writer.

I was telling Elena on wed that if a guy would to come along and tell me this


"Eh! Are you dumb or wat, don't you know that I like you?"


I'll proly fall in love w him. Hahaha.. But then again, there gotta be a certain chemistry btw the two of us. Otherwise.. can forget about it. Elena was saying im crazy. How do i go about falling for that guy who questions me in this manner. I was just trying to imagine this particular scenario and was laughing over it la. 


Right I was perky on wed morning. However, its an entire different story in the noon. 


*Drama on wed nite. Last one. I promise.

Be my guardian angel.

When a man is trying to win the heart of a woman, he studies her. He learns her likes, dislikes, habits and hobbies. But after he wins her heart an marries her, he often stops learning about her. If the amout he studied her before marriage was equal to a high school degree, he should continue to learn abt her until he gains a college degree, a master's degree and ultimately a doctorate degree. Its a lifelong journey that draws his heart ever closer to hers.


- Fireproof

As long as you can bring a smile to my face.